Zoom: No Eye Contact, No Impact

We all know the value of eye contact.  The Windows to the Soul, everyone looks to the eyes first.  They communicate before we can even form the thought, let alone the words.  Our eyes are alive like no other part of our body.  Our aliveness is best gauged by gazing into our eyes.

And, eye contact can be very unsettling, for all of these reasons.  Many struggle with how to make and maintain "good eye contact."  We try to avoid looking away too often.  Failing to meet another's gaze is a disconnect and can even be an affront, an insult of lack of attention.

Lately, we're relegated to Zoom and other videoconferencing platforms to teach, to engage and to connect.  Watch just about any Zoom conference and you'll see people looking at the image of the speaker or gallery of participants on their computer screen.  When we speak, we naturally look at the person or group we're speaking to, even if it's on screen.  So:  the experience is that no one is making eye contact when they're speaking.  Yes, we all "see" each other but no one is looking at you when they speak--they're looking at the pictures of you and their eyes are clearly averted from the camera.  Our sense of eye contact is so refined that even a slight aversion from the camera is a complete disconnect.

It's possible to train yourself to look into the camera when you're speaking on Zoom and not the computer screen.  It's difficult, disorienting and only so effective because, while people feel that you are looking at them, you are not are not seeing them.  You are looking at the camera lens.

In our work, presentation and performance coaching and training, we sometimes use a teleprompter (ours is from https://prompterpeople.com).  This is a video monitor laying flat with the image reflected on special angled glass so the scroll of the speech or presentation is visible.  Behind the angled glass is the camera that records or broadcasts the image of the speaker.

I decided to try doing a Zoom call through the prompter.  We're using a Logitech Rally but any webcam should work.  I mounted the webcam on the prompter with the lens in the middle of the glass.  Before I start the Zoom call I set up the prompter video monitor as an extended display.  Starting the call, the Zoom window is move to the extended display and now shows on the prompter monitor.  

When I have a Zoom call, either with a group or a single person, their experience is that I am looking directly at them--because I am!  

Make this small change for a big difference.

Zoom for the Hard of Hearing 1.0

With conferences, weddings and big gatherings off the table for now, we're making do with Zoom and other videoconferencing platforms.  Setting up a Zoom call with my folks was a small challenge and there was a big surprise to follow.

My 94-year-old father has severe hearing loss, only slightly improved by expensive hearing aids.  If you or anyone you know has profound or severe hearing loss, you know it can be devastating.  It's incredibly isolating and, unaccommodated, causes many people to withdraw from life.

My conversations with my father became impossible over the phone.  And, they were frustrating in person as it was necessary to speak v-e-r-y  s-l-o-w-l-y and quite loudly for him to hear me and understand me.  You'd think it was a small gesture, and of course it is, but it's quite awkward speaking loudly for any length of time.  We're programmed to avoid using our loud voice unless it's normally appropriate, like cheering at a sporting event.  And speaking artificially slowly has a way of disrupting the normal flow of thought and conversation.  Of course, we do our best to accommodate our loved ones' needs.

To enable him to hear the television without blasting my stepmother out of the room, my brother got him some quality, dual-ear headphones and, connected to the audio output of their sound bar, my father could raise the volume on his headset without changing the television volume in the room.  It might have saved their marriage!

Years ago, I began sending the video and audio of my Zoom calls to a large-screen television and sound system.  In a group meeting it allowed everyone to see everyone else clearly via one connection.  The computer/camera could be turned to each speaker in the room in their turn or zoomed out to show the whole group.  (I'm currently using a Logitech Rally camera which allows me to zoom in and out, pan left and right, and tilt up and down with a remote control.)  And, the sound from a quality sound system is much warmer and fuller.  This all made the experience more like having those folks in the room with me instead of in a little window from across town.

On our first Zoom call, I made the basic connections with my stepmother.   As I explained the Speaker View and Gallery View, how to mute and unmute, where the controls were and so on, my father waited patiently.  I wasn't speaking loudly or slowly, just normally to my stepmother.

Then, it happened.  I said, "Okay, Dad, can you hear me?"  He said, "Yes, I can hear you."  I said, "Well, you can hear me but..." and he interrupted me to say, "No, I heard and understood everything you said!"  I realized the configuration enhanced my father's ability to hear clearly and participate in a more normal conversation.  He could hear me better over Zoom than if I were in the same room, struggling to speak loud and v-e-r-y  s-l-o-w-l-y.

I can now "Zoom call" my folks, see them on big screen if I like and hear them through good sound.  More importantly, my father can hear and converse much more normally.

Zoom for the Hard of Hearing 1.1

Then as Father's Day approached, we decided it would be okay for six of us to gather around a big table outside at their house for lox and bagels.  Still, as eager as I was to see my dad in person after so long, I was somewhat dreading the slow-&-loud talking routine.  Just before we arrived, it hit me:  I'll initiate a Zoom call to their computer, as usual (though this time from my iPhone).  Once connected, Dad can wear the headphones at the patio table just outside and we could use the iPhone as a microphone.  The video was unneeded.  The result?  We were all sitting at the table together and talking and Dad could hear and understand just about everything if we spoke anywhere near the iPhone.  MUCH better than him straining to hear.  MUCH better than we all trying to speak slowly and loudly enough.

Such a small shift in how we were going to celebrate Father's Day made it immensely more enjoyable for all.  Look how happy he looks!  (He was, believe me.)

Little Hinges Swing Big Gates

Our physical sense of balance resides in the inner ear, dependent upon the arrangement of the tiny hairs therein.  If they get irritated or damaged we can't even stand up straight, let alone walk.

Our entire body is constantly seeking balance to stand.  The position of the tongue is enough to aid or defeat the balance.

What small adjustments can we make to create more balance within our selves and between each other?  

Just a "hair" more courtesy, kindness or consideration may be enough to restore balance.  A slight shift in the position of our tongue (one more word or one less word) may be enough to keep the peace and even end hostility.

Think Small - Big Difference

Think Small - Big Difference

So often, just a little extra (effort, time, money, consideration) makes a huge difference.  

A miss is as good as a mile:  just a little to the left and--disaster. 

Going the extra mile:  you might only need to go the extra step.

No one wants to be small-minded;  Think Small believes that a tiny adjustment can often make a world of difference.

A little extra consideration, tolerance or understanding may de-escalate a contentious situation or prevent it entirely.